Well once again I am going to be without a fucking job. The way the market has turned we have lost 4 lenders in the last month. Deutsch Bank (the biggest bank that buys loans on Wall Street) has pulled the plug from the portfolio lenders and will not securitize any more loans. What does that mean to me? It means that of the 6 loans I had in the pipeline with these lenders are all dead and we are scrambling to find new lenders for them and that is not working out very well.

I was told at the beginning of August that my company can no longer afford to keep me on salary. I am more than welcome to work out the month of September on commission only, but as I see it no lenders=no loans being written=me working for free. The reason he wants me to work through September is because I have a pretty good bonus coming on my b-day. He said if I don't work I don't get it. My question is why wouldn't they be decent and give me my bonus as a severance pay and let me work a new job? My fear is that I will work through September and not get my bonus, kinda like they did with my vacation pay. They do not have a good track record of keeping promises in my book. They decided after I took my vacation that they could not afford to pay me for it, yay!!

We should have a loan closing on Friday, our only loan left on the books, but this loan has died and came back to life 4 times already so I will not count my chickens before they hatch.

I have been working at the American Legion bartending so I picked up 3 extra shifts last week to earn some extra money and all 3 shifts blew. During the summer in Florida it can get quite slow. Figures when I need it the most.

So now I have rent due and insurance and I am only about $600 short of payments that I have to make by next Tuesday, I HATE FINANCIAL STRESS!!

Rant off/

Am I in fucking high school? I got up this morning and noticed that my lovely friend got a little carried away and I look like I got into a fight with a fucking vacuum cleaner, grrrrrrrrr!!!

I always hated that shit, I pretty much summed it up as staking your claim to someone. I don't like the idea of that very much at all.

Man have I been a busy bee. Not much vacactioning going on here. Saturday was my sisters wedding. I got shit-faced drunk with my brother. It was quite entertaining. We have pretty much the same sense of humor and we always have a lot of fun together. I have missed him. Sunday was a family reunion, god I hate these things. There is a reason I live in Florida and only visit once every couple of years. Monday I had to get up and bring my mom to work at 6 am so we could pick up my rental car (shitty Malibu Maxx) after work. Tuesday I took my nephews for the day. 3 boys, 13, 11, and 9 what a handful. I'm a great auntie, they love me. Took them to the beach and than to a movie. Harry Potter, it was good they liked it alot.

Yesterday was the first day I didn't have to get up by 8 am to take care of something. I got up at my leisure and headed to Boothbay for the day, had lunch at one of my favorite restaurants (finally got me some lobster stew) went on a boat ride, had dinner with friends and got bombed on Bombay Sapphire and Tonic, twas fun. Thought of you Ryan.

Today lunch with my old high school friend Terri and dinner with my friend Carrie. Than I am giong to go out down in tha habah. Tomorrow I am supposed to go to Boston for a game on Saturday, but we will see if that works out. Anywho, hope all is well with you all.

So I leave tomorrow night for the great ole Northeast. I am so frickin excited. I haven't seen my momma in two years. My sister is getting married on Saturday and I will be in Maine until Monday. I am than going to NH to see my bestest friend Casey and her son Chase. I think we are going to see the Indigo Girls. I will stay there until Wednesday than go back to Maine and see my friends in the harbor. Yippee! Stay there til Friday and than I will go to Boston to see the Red Sox Angels game on Saturday. Chill in Hull til Monday morning and than back home to Florida.

I cannot wait to eat lobster stew, drink good beer and best of all, not have to worry about work for 10 days.

Well, it looks like i am losing my job. August 31st my office itself is closing down. My boss wants me to work from home, commision only. That is not going to happen, I need a salary to keep afloat. Why oh why couldn't they have told me this before I booked a vacation to Maine for 10 days?

I am officially bummed :(

I've been sober for 14 days and I feel great!! I have gotten past the shakes, the cravings and now it it smooth sailing. Also, I came to the conclusion that when I start drinking again (let's be serious people, it's inevitable) I am going to try to keep it to the weekends only.

Sad, scary story:

I met a guy last night at the bar I work at, I was serving him Stoli on the rocks. We got to talking and he told me he was in the beginning stages of cirrhosis of the liver, at age 43. : ( Not the future I am looking forward to.

Well, I am having a pretty good summer so far! I just booked my trip back to Maine. I'll be there for 10 days in August. (9th-19th) I can't friggin wait. I haven't been home in two summers :(

I just got my tickets to the season home opener of the Dophins vs. the *drumroll* Dallas Cowboys, yah baby! My buddy is a season ticket holder and he gave me two tickets for my b-day which is 6 days after the game. Wicked awesome.

I am currently on the wagon. A friend made a wager with me that I couldn't stop drinking for 30 days, I took the bet. $100 in my pocket just before vacation.

Got a new grill yesterday, going to cook some steaks on Sunday. Man, I love a good steak. Well that's all for now. Have a great weekend everyone.

P.S. Hoping that Tim will make an appearance down here when I get back from Maine (hint, hint!!)

Why do I have to wade through 2 pages of bullshit to get to some substance. No wonder so many people are giving up on this site. Version 2.0 can not come any faster!!

Cigarettes
Porn
Shingle
Books

Grrrr!!

Every year the bar that I hang out at (The Bahia Cabana) has an End of The Season party. It goes from Sunday to Tuesday with events such as hot bod contests, belly flop contests and lots of drinking. Basically it is a celebration of all the hard work the servers/bartenders do over the busy season in Ft. Lauderdale.

My friends Scott and Cindy were in town for the festivities along with about 300 other people locals and folks from other areas. Good times! Julie one of my really good friends bartends at the Cabana. I used to work there and most of my friends still do work there, so I hang out there a lot.

Sunday night I was at the bar with Scott and Cindy having some cocktails and Cindy says to Julie and I, "Hey, why don't you girls come up to Philly for Fathers Day weekend, I'm taking the kids to the Outer Banks and I'm sure Scott would love the company?" So Julie and I looked at each other half drunk and said "Sure" So we bought the tickets and are headed up there tomorrow morning.

Scott is a lawyer and his trial ends today, so he has planned a pool party upon our arrival tomorrow. Looked up the weather, I guess it's supposed to be nice. Saturday we are going to catch the Phillies vs. Detroit game and Sunday do some sight seeing. I have never been to Philly so it should be a great time.

Any suggestions on places to go/things to see?

You happy about Miami acquiring Trent Green? For awhile there I didn't think it was going to happen. The icing on the cake is that Culpepper was just cleared for practice starting this week. Poor Dante!

Although, as far as I'm concerned Beck is the future of Miami.

I am going to the Tool concert tomorrow, so excited. I have floor tickets, should be majorly awesome. My friend saw them in Mississippi and said the tore down the house. I.Can't.Wait.

In other news, the Marlins swept the Cubs after being swept by the Mets. (F U MOONZ!) They played some good ball.

I can see the smoke for miles and miles and I live in Southern Florida, ugh! I'm telling you people right now, it's the Apocolypse!

From an Angry Soldier

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Date: 2007-04-10, 1:00PM PDT


I'm having the worst damn week of my whole damn life so I'm going to write this while I'm pissed off enough to do it right.

I am SICK of all this bullshit people are writing about the Iraq war. I am abso-fucking-lutely sick to death of it. What the fuck do most of you know about it? You watch it on TV and read the commentaries in the newspaper or Newsweek or whatever god damn yuppie news rag you subscribe to and think you're all such fucking experts that you can scream at each other like five year old about whether you're right or not. Let me tell you something: unless you've been there, you don't know a god damn thing about it. It you haven't been shot at in that fucking hell hole, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

How do I dare say this to you moronic war supporters who are "Supporting our Troops" and waving the flag and all that happy horse shit? I'll tell you why. I'm a Marine and I served my tour in Iraq. My husband, also a Marine, served several. I left the service six months ago because I got pregnant while he was home on leave and three days ago I get a visit from two men in uniform who hand me a letter and tell me my husband died in that fucking festering sand-pit. He should have been home a month ago but they extended his tour and now he's coming home in a box.

You fuckers and that god-damn lying sack of shit they call a president are the reason my husband will never see his baby and my kid will never meet his dad.

And you know what the most fucked up thing about this Iraq shit is? They don't want us there. They're not happy we came and they want us out NOW. We fucked up their lives even worse than they already were and they're pissed off. We didn't help them and we're not helping them now. That's what our soldiers are dying for.

Oh while I'm good and worked up, the government doesn't even have the decency to help out the soldiers whos lives they ruined. If you really believe the military and the government had no idea the veterans' hospitals were so fucked up, you are a god-damn retard. They don't care about us. We're disposable. We're numbers on a page and they'd rather forget we exist so they don't have to be reminded about the families and lives they ruined while they're sipping their cocktails at another fund raiser dinner. If they were really concerned about supporting the troops, they'd bring them home so their families wouldn't have to cry at a graveside and explain to their children why mommy or daddy isn't coming home. Because you can't explain it. We're not fighting for our country, we're not fighting for the good of Iraq's people, we're fighting for Bush's personal agenda. Patriotism my ass. You know what? My dad served in Vietnam and NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

So I'm pissed. I'm beyond pissed. And I'm going to go to my husband funeral and recieve that flag and hang it up on the wall for my baby to see when he's older. But I'm not going to tell him that his father died for the stupidty of the American government. I'm going to tell him that his father was a hero and the best man I ever met and that he loved his country enough to die for it, because that's all true and nothing will be solved by telling my son that his father was sent to die by people who didn't care about him at all.

Fuck you, war supporters, George W. Bush, and all the god damn mother fuckers who made the war possible. I hope you burn in hell.

Ok, so me and my friend Julie came up with this ingenious plan.

We are taking two weeks off this summer and going on a two week trip from Philly to Chicago and stopping and catching a baseball game at 6 different stadiums.

So for now this is what I have based on the schedules and timing of when we are available.

Wed (6/13) 1:05 Drive Time to Boston: 5:18

Philadelphia vs. White Sox @ Citizens Bank Park

Fri (6/15) 7:05 Drive Time to NY: 3:41

Boston vs. SF Giants @ Fenway

Sun (6/17) 8:05 Drive Time to Cleveland: 7:16

Yankees vs. Mets @ Yankee Stadium

Wed (6/20) 7:05 Drive Time to Chicago: 4:58

Indians vs. Phillies @ Jacobs Field

Fri (6/22) 3:05

White Sox vs. Cubs @ U S Cellular Field

Mon (6/25) 7:05

Chicago Cubs vs. Rockies @ Wrigley Field

I have a bit of money saved up in my savings account and have ALWAYS wanted to do this so it is feasible, any thoughts??

Looks like we have become this class' next assignment.

Well it has officially been a year since Chris died and my life was turned upside down and charcoal. I did pretty well over the course of the month of March looking on to the good things in my life and not so much of dwelling on the past. I find myself missing Chris a lot and thinking about him on a daily basis.

We went on Sunday and spread Heather's moms ashes in the ocean so that was the final stage of the process so now hopefully Heather can get a little bit of closure. She is having a hard time, so my next goal is to get her into some counseling.

Chase will be turning two years old on April 11th and his grandparents have a big shindig planned complete with a bounce house and clowns and stuff. I am headed to Mississippi next Friday for the weekend for his party and to see Casey and Chris' family. I can't wait, the last time I was out of town was September for Chris' birthday.

We are starting to make plans for Bonnaroo, it is coming up in June. Langerado was a few weeks back we had a great time, lots of music and fun.

I am absolutely in love with my new car. Well I think that is it, I hope everyone is well!

Here's cowboy Chase and a sleepy Chase!

After 3 months of not havinng a car, I now do! Woo Hoo!! I walked into the car dealership on Saturday morning and told them I have no cash and I wasn't leaving without a car. So I got a 2002 Honda Accord, lookee, isn't she purty? She's all decked out, fully loaded, and I talked em down $2000. Sweet!

Woo hoo, SO EXCITED!! Right down the street from my house, yay! Today today yes it's today!! I am leaving work at 2pm to be able to catch The North Mississippi Allstars!