Frustration Mounting!
Manic Monday has been a day of reflection for me. I am sitting here at my desk where I have got absolutely nothing accomplished, thinking all day while staring at the birds. I am having a bad day. I guess I am just getting to the point where "I need to shit or get off the pot" with my life.
Lately reading JoeD's blogs have made me wonder what my purpose is here on this divine planet called earth. I am having the same feelings of going back to school, and than there is the dreaded, money, time, and energy that I would have to put in it. I don't think that school is the answer although I would really like to go back.
I really think I need a hobby. I just got a pamphlet in the mail for an indoor soccer team, and I think I am going to join. I played soccer all of my life. I miss it, sometimes I go over and watch the kids play in the park by my house. That always makes me happy.
Tonight I have a surprise birthday party planned for my friend Steph. I don't want to go, but I have to because I planned it. I want to lay in my bed with my dog and be by myself. This roller coaster of non stop partying is really getting to me. I am trying to figure out how you go about leaving your old friends and creating a different lifestyle. I love these people they have been there for me for the last 5 years. How do you let go of the people that care the most about you?
Until next time...
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I've been thinking along the same lines...a new start. What you're looking for is not "out there," it's within you. You create your reality and take it with you wherever you go. Even if you don't move away, you can start to manifest more of the people you jive with into your life. My life coach taught me about it, and making lists of the qualities you admire in others and want in your friends is really powerful, and a good thing to do while lying in your bed, chillin. Sometimes, we do need a change of scenery though. I do for sure. Letting go is a good thing...I have done that a lot lately. Sometimes, the people who care most about you actually care more about themselves...not saying that's true with your friends, but it has been with some of mine and I've had to just say goodbye. |
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I have lived in Florida for 6 years, I love it here and I can't think of anywhere else I would want to live. I get in these funks where nothing seems to be going my way. I am a creature of habit and a product of my environment. So change is hard. Although I am beginning to realize that it is necessary. Lately I have been more focused on every one else and their problems, that I have forgotten about my own happiness. I just got rid of my ex who has been holding me down for 2 years, I am free from him. Wow it felt good to say that. Yes Free. So from now on it is going to be all about me! Joe, thank you for bringing up a lot of things I have been going through in my life. It is okay to think when you need to recognize your problems.
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Just another manic monday...whoa ooh whoa Wish it was Sunday That's my fun day My I don't have to run day... lol that is so going through my head right now! make it stop! I'm glad you're free! Enjoy it. |
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Some friends just follow you around and wont go away...I guess that's what makes them friends. I know exactly what you mean though. You grow up and have different goals an ideas in life and some friends stay stuck in the past...once I figure out the secret formula, I'll tell you about it. It's hard not to offend people, and when you do you feel super shitty about it, because they've really done nothing wrong. Bah! I'm running out of aliases and places to hide the bodies. |
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Sounds like your going thru similar funk like me. The only thing is I have a really good idea of what I want to do but executing them have proven difficult. Going back to school is a good idea. Right now it seems like it would be a lt of work but once your back into its fun and doesnt seem so bad. Its also a good way to meet new people, especially if you go to a community college. People at a CC are usually in the same boat as you and are fun to hang out with. Definatly start with a hobby. Getting into skunks was the best thing that ever happened to me. Ive met a ton of cool people (and a few insane ones, at least its interesting  ) and Ive had a lot of fun with get togethers and shows and stuff. I would go for playing soccer if you know it will make you happy, belonging to a group with a common interest is always fun. Go back to school too, as soon as I get where I want to be it will be the first thing I do too. |
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Yep, than everything went to shit. Chris died and than my house burned down about 10 days after I wrote this blog. |
